Skip to main content

Words inspired by a failed year...


What do you want me to say? I have nothing for you. I have nothing for anybody. I have failed so many times at so many things I stopped counting.

You want me to be “normal”? To behave “normal”, to act like society expects me to?

I’m not that guy. I’m not that person. I’d rather wallow in dirt rather than accommodate to what the people around me expect me to be.

Yes, I know what that means. I know what this kind of way of thinking will eventually lead to. I don’t care and I mean it. It’s not that I’m unaware of the consequences, I am, don’t worry. It’s just that I stopped worrying about things I may or may not achieve. A diploma, a marriage, a good life and a good fortune… no, everything I need is simple. If there is one thing I need to be aware of it’s my lack of submission to the truth of my existence.

I’m not afraid of dying alone. I’m not afraid of never finding love. I’m not afraid of not making enough money. The only thing I can do is try. And as long as I try, it doesn’t matter if I die succeeding or not. If I am meant to die, I will. If I am not, I won’t. It’s that simple. The only question is, how prepared will I be at that point, when death knocks at my door to take me to the other side.

I am a man of conviction. I am a man of belief. I will work towards what I believe and won’t allow anyone hindering me on that path. Even if it means that it will take years to achieve, I shall not falter.

There is but one goal that shall ever matter: Riza-i ilahi.

Every other goal shall serve this one purpose of my life.

Every mistake, every good deed, every sacrifice and chance I take, will be an accumulation towards that one goal.

What is love, but something that perishes with death.

What is trust, but a fragile string attached between humans.

What is life without purpose, but a finite timespan in a zoo called earth.

Can you bring back the dead? Can you evade death? Can you grasp immortality? Can you stop the universe from collapsing one day?

Don’t waste time pitying me, rather have a look at the mirror and honestly reflect on your life.

The world you live in and the world I live in are quite different. We just occupy the same space, that’s all.

And as long as we deny each other, we shall remain occupying the same space, but continue living in different worlds.

You shall have this moment of joy, for that moment doesn’t exist in my world. If you think otherwise, it’s only your pathetic excuse to try dragging me into your world.

But I don’t exist there.

I really don’t.


PS: Don't take this one to serious, I feel a little melancholy. ;)

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tears

There in the distance a faint glow - a red flickering ball in the blue sky above. I see black smoke rising and a whisper of men and women screaming resounds in my ears. “Where am I?” I wonder, scoping my surroundings in curiosity. The floor is tinted in a bluish gray - the ground I’m seated on feels hard. I look to my right and see a steep hill rising. There are lush greens on the top, but the rising is a deep brown. “Uh- ah-” A tiny voice awakens left to me. I turn around and am amazed. There is a small girl lying just next to me dressed in an all gray gown. I observe her for a moment. I wonder if she’s alright. “Who are you little girl?” I ask her. Maybe I should have started with how are you doing, but my curiosity got the better of me. “Where-” she starts “am I? Who are you? What!” She stops in mid-sentence as she catches a glimpse of her clothing. “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DRESS!” she calls out to me. “Calm down, will you? How should I know, I’m just as surp...
1 comment
Read more

The mountain top

The finger pointing towards the mountain top. Throughout life, we seek happiness. Happiness and peace. We want to love and be loved. The desire of warmth and security has found a profound place in our hearts. So then how is it we are incapable of achieving what we ache for with such vehemence? “Do you look beyond the window or through it?” my mind asks. I wish I could answer “I always look beyond!” but it would be far from the truth. How often do we stop and try to visualize our planet in relation to our existences? Do we frequently judge and decide with the whole picture in mind or are we generally selfish beings who choose what’s in our interest and our interest alone? What mindset stirs the way of thinking to a happier life? “An interesting question” you say? Or “how stupid” is what you’d identify those lines with? There are so many philosophical approaches to our existence on this planet next to religious ones. Is it possible for them to co-exist? Hap...
Post a Comment
Read more

And all spins around once more

When I stop for a moment and look around myself… The thing I ought stopping to do in the future. Maybe. Or maybe I should do it more? I don’t know. I should get help. But help costs money, or at least useful ones do. The ones you get from “family” and “friends” is as cheap as Alkaline batteries. I’m confused. Irritated by all of the development going on around me. I’m sad. I feel the pathetic factor grow stronger. I fear. I’m afraid of landing in the gutter. My ambitions now seems nothing more than pieces of paper hung up on an imaginary tree’s branches… awaiting the next breeze to tear them away. We are but voices to be smothered. People without worth. Lost creatures wandering the surface of the earth wondering about the purpose of existence. Is it strange that it should be the people detached from the bonds of society and humanity who question their being the most frequent? What comes down to earth, what goes up to heaven? Who knows. Or does somebod...
Post a Comment
Read more